24.
Cross-Cultural Communication Factors (E)
Thoughts
on Cross-Cultural Communication of the Gospel through Chapel Weddings.
Introduction. The following pages were adapted from correspondence with friends over the past couple of years. They represent some of my thinking on the matter of wedding evangelism and our approach to it as Christian ministers. Since the comments that appear here have been taken from scattered sources, the subjects being discussed are not in any particular order.
The matter of a pre-ceremony orientation time is mentioned. A paper on the rationale for and the approach to orientation has been prepared separately. It is available for your consideration along with other materials I have prepared. I would be happy to supply a complete list of these materials for your information.
I am aware that some of the issues I have mentioned here are discussed at various places in the cover letters for my materials. These items were written independently of each other, and I hope this occasional overlapping can be accepted as an expansion of the subject.
I am deeply concerned that our participation in the "boom" for church weddings be one of integrity and quality so that we might truly bring glory to the Lord Jesus. I hope the following discussion can help us toward finding effective ways to communicate the Gospel in this culture through weddings. (dcb)
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At this point I have decided not to use the Japanese/English version of the Bible you recommend. This decision was upon the advice of several Japanese Christians, including our school chaplain and, interestingly, one non-Christian -- a former top-ranked English editor for the Asahi Shinbun. All of them understood the context for the planned use of the Bible. All of them insisted that the people we are dealing with will be far more likely to read the Japanese-only translation and, thus, what we hope for, an opening of the hearts of first-time contacts to consider the Word of God and His claim on their lives, is more likely to be achieved.
This confirmed what I myself was feeling, and for a time I used the Shinkaiyaku version of the New Testament with the picture of grapes on the cover painted by Tomihiro Hashing (NNA-22). The price of one copy is 390 yen, but purchasing a box of 60 reduces the cost to 250 yen. This Bible is very attractive. Recently, however, I changed to the newly completed Concise Bible. This too is a very attractive book and it contains passages from both the Old Testament and the New Testament. It is available at a highly subsidized price through Miss Barbara Murch whose fax number is (022) 472-1661.
I have elected not to present the Bible during the ceremony itself. I feel this presentation is more effective during the orientation time. I appreciate your suggestion that there is an impression to be made on the entire audience at the time of the ceremony, but I feel the effect on the couple of a direct and personal presentation at a time when they are more relaxed and when the nature of the Bible has already been explained to them far outweighs any benefit achieved during the ceremony. It also saves time during the ceremony and it avoids making the recipient hold the book or hand it over to someone else.
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Concerning the wedding ceremony, I have chosen the approach of an outstanding, elderly Japanese pastor and popular evangelist by having a brief time of setsumei at the beginning of the service. This is where, indicating that I want to explain the ceremony to follow, I begin my "message" -- the declaration of the Living God. I agree with Pastor Arase that this opening statement is the beginning of the evangelistic thrust of the service.
This message continues later when I speak very personally and directly to the couple. God is alive and has created our world. He made us, loves us, and has a wonderful plan for our lives. It is in fellowship with Him that our marriage can find true happiness. Every other element of the service -- the prayers, the songs, the language of the shikiji, and the manner in which I speak -- is consciously designed to impress on the hearers the nature of this Living God.
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I have deliberately chosen a level of the
Japanese language that is quite formal yet readily understandable. The reason for this is that Japanese people
expect a certain atmosphere of dignity for such a setting. I feel we must address their expectations so
they will feel comfortable with the proceedings and thus, hopefully, be more
open to the message of the Gospel, which the ceremony contains. Parts of the shikiji and the prayers are adapted from the Japanese minister's
manual. Although these were not
designed primarily for unbelievers, their content supports my design to express
the nature of God. They are also easily understood, and they help to maintain a
level of dignity and an air of solemnity, which the Japanese expect. Thus they fit into my insistence that
everything about the ceremony be culturally
appropriate.
It should be noted that I speak out loud -- announce -- the various parts of the ceremony: Shikiji, KitC, etc. This too is in keeping with what the Japanese expect from a more solemn, "proper" ceremony. This approach is based on the fact that, if we want our Gospel message to be heard, we must clothe it in terms that are culturally relevant and meaningful to the hearers.
Allow me to pursue this subject of cultural relevancy a bit further, sharing from a background of extensive studies in communication in a missiological context. If we as Christian communicators are careless in our choice of words, or if we use culturally inappropriate expressions --that is, expressions which the Japanese themselves would not use in a particular setting -- our hearers will experience a sense of being "off balance" and, thus, feel discomfort. Although our message might indeed be what the hearers desperately need, if that message is not clothed in "garments" which are relevant to their thought processes, or if those garments seem foreign, the hearers will find difficulty in focusing on the content of the message itself. Thus the effect of the witness we desire to give will be diminished because of the faulty vehicle by which the witness was given.
We must not allow ourselves to take the North American approach of extreme informality. Instead we must strive to give the impression of quality -- in the way Japanese would judge it -- by providing an atmosphere of dignity both in our manner and in our words.
On the matter of our words, it is urgent that all of us who find ourselves in situations that require more culturally sensitive approaches -- that is, situations that are more formal or solemn in nature -- must secure the help of a native speaker who is willing to correct us strictly. He or she must be one who will be totally frank and not hesitate to point out our mistakes because of our "status." We must submit our manuscripts for sentence-by-sentence scrutiny. To be qualified for this work, the helper must be one who is not merely able to speak the language but one who is able also to point out language and cultural dynamics.
In my ceremony I have avoided the use of -mashC with one exception. I find this form is seldom used in formal situations in Japan such as a wedding. My observation over the years is that foreigners incorrectly assume it to be the equivalent of the term "let us . . . " which has a formal ring in an American setting. Its lack of occurrence in formal settings in Japan indicates that the form is too colloquial for a solemn occasion and that we should avoid frequent use of it.
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I was asked by the company to include some expressions in English. Such expressions are, after all, kakko ii in the minds of their customers! I was happy to comply with this request, but only with the following conditions -- that such expressions be (1) few, (2) brief, and (3) so simple that they have the possibility of being understood by most of the people present. I see no reason for aimlessly putting on display our native language, knowing it will not be understood, when our stated purpose for doing these weddings is evangelism! How can the mouthing of prayers, etc., that are incomprehensible to the hearers be considered evangelism? As Paul said, how can evangelism take place when we are "speaking in tongues" to the "uninitiated" (I Cor. 14:23)?
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I am afraid you are quite mistaken in your insistence that the signing of the pledge must be the last item in the vows-rings-veil sequence. You declare that Japanese culture insists upon this order. Not so! I have talked with two Japanese pastors and wedding ministers who disagree with you. First, signing is not an issue at all in a traditional Japanese wedding. The presence of the baishakunin as a witness and guarantor is much more important. Furthermore, signing is not a visible element in other traditional Japanese ceremonies either. It seems to take place in Japan only when agreements with foreign countries are involved -- that is, it is a symbol of relationship in international agreements, particularly those, which are of a political or business nature.
Second, you are missing the essence of the Christian wedding. The sign of the couple's having completed all the elements of being joined before witnesses is not the signing; it is the lifting of the veil and the kiss! The signing is merely one small part of that process, if it is present in the ceremony at all. In fact I have never seen it included in wedding ceremonies in North America. The signing takes place separately. Thus the emphasis on signing in Japan seems to be a Japanese idea adapted from some unknown source.
Also, since it is the lifting of the veil and the kiss (for those who have elected to do the kiss) that proclaims the couple is now husband and wife, the minister's declaration of that union should follow all the other steps. It seems strange indeed to state that the couple is now married prior to the lifting of the veil, or before the signing!
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We must be very careful about using in this culture the Ephesians passage, which contains shitagau or tsukaeru. To use these terms in relation to the woman's role in marriage without proper explanation can create gross misunderstanding about their intent in this society where men are still considered by many people to be superior to women or where the woman is considered to the "property" of the man, to comply with his whims. We do an injustice to the Scripture in this particular cultural context if we use this passage just because it is the traditional thing to do in our cultural (Christian) context where, likewise, I believe, it has not been given proper interpretation in many instances.
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My ceremony is designed to keep down the "anxiety level" in the bride and groom. I do not ask them to "perform" special actions or speeches that require memorization or special concentration. They are already too "up tight." I emphasize in both the orientation time and in the brief meeting just prior to the ceremony that this is their special day and they should just enjoy it by relaxing and letting me lead them through each step.
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I feel strongly that God has opened a unique door of witness opportunity through chapel weddings. But for our witness to be truly effective, three crucial ingredients must be combined.
One is a pre-ceremony meeting with the couple. This is the only time available to us for a truly meaningful sharing of the Gospel. The ceremony itself does not provide such a time, contrary to our notions that our "message" is that opportunity. The time is too limited, the couple is too tense, and the guests are too nervous about their first time in "church." It is in the orientation time that the couple is relaxed and ready to receive any available information about their wedding. That "information" just happens to include -- in the course of explaining the various parts of the ceremony -- the fact that God is alive and loves them and has a wonderful plan for their lives!
The orientation is likewise the only time available to explain the meaning of the vows. It is unthinkable that a minister of the Gospel should lead a couple through the vows that are unique to the Christian ceremony without having previously explained those vows to them! If we do not give the couple the opportunity to understand the true meaning of their ceremony -- the One who ordained it, and the seriousness of what they are pledging to each other -- surely we do both them and God a great disservice!
The second ingredient is the "message." This too is crucial, of course. But whether or not an evangelistic witness is present depends greatly on the content of our message. We might think that our nice homily on love or our advice on husband/wife relationships is witness to the Gospel because it cites a biblical passage or it mentions God. But the fact is that whenever Japanese people hear the word "God," unless the meaning of that word is clearly explained, they think only of "one god among many gods," and our "message" becomes to them no more than a "nice talk."
I am convinced, after 28 years of ministry in Japan, that the one thing the Japanese must understand in order to move toward Jesus Christ is the nature of the Living God. The number of words of any message we are able to speak in the ceremony is so limited -- and our best preaching, said the great preacher, Paul, is mere foolishness to the unsaved -- that I have decided to make the few words I am able to give a statement of who God is and of His desire to walk with us through our lives.
It might be that the third ingredient is the most important of all. This part is the manner in which we give our message, or present our ceremony. I believe our challenge, as communicators of the Christian faith in the "chapel wedding" setting, is to make the ceremony so lovely, so meaningful, so full of feeling, that the people who attend a Christian service for the first time will become open to going back to church again when the opportunity is presented! I want to create an atmosphere where the people will be awed by the beauty of Christian worship; where they will feel the presence of the Living God; where barriers against "going to church" will melt away in the awareness of the meaning of the words they are hearing; and where they decide to recommend a Christian wedding to their friends so I can have yet another opportunity to bring the same experience to another audience!
Indeed, this third part might be our most important evangelistic challenge! Perhaps our main focus in this one-time encounter of twenty to thirty minutes should not be our "preaching" but an attempt to cause the hearers to feel genuine delight in their first church experience so they will be open to future invitations when they will hear more of the Gospel!
To do this we must resist the tendency to speak mechanically or monotonously. We must convey the meaning of what we are saying with thought-filled pauses. We must feel what we are saying in a given moment and express that feeling in our voice and manner. And we must concentrate on the fact that the lives of this couple now standing before us are just as precious as that of our own daughter, and thus they deserve as much energy, and feeling, and enthusiasm from us as our own daughter would receive. And we must do this for the sixth couple of the day as well as the first!
I challenge myself to think of each ceremony as the only one -- there is none before or after -- and I strive earnestly to make the ceremony for the couple now before me as meaningful and beautiful as I possibly can. For I want their families and friends to see that the Christian church is the place that can bring beauty into their lives!
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Since weddings fall on most Sunday mornings, I am seldom able to attend the traditional church service. How will Christians who think of 11:00 a.m. Sunday as "The Sacred Hour" evaluate such a situation? There is room for concern here, and I do not take the fact of my absences lightly. However, as a student of missiology, I am convinced that, to win the world, we must go where the world is. We must meet them on their "turf" to be able to relate to them.
For many Christians it seems that the Sunday morning worship service is merely a cozy nest that results in very few attempts to reach out to a lost world during the following week. I go to that lost world Sunday mornings to conduct "evangelistic services" where up to 300 non-Christians gather. Japanese unbelievers see no reason to come to the traditional church. In addition, most Japanese Christians seem to have little or no strategy for reaching their society for Christ. In fact, it seems that most of them do not even believe it is possible to win their families and friends for Jesus. God has opened the door to help make the church attractive again to unbelievers. He has placed on me the urgency of walking through that door.
The church must meet people "out there," at the point of their felt needs -- where marriages take place. I am called to leave the place that is, for many Christians, coffee times and soothing sermons, and where little takes place to compel believers to establish the Kingdom of God in their society during the week. I am attempting, in my small way, to declare that Kingdom into the lives of people who have no awareness of the Living God. For the present, this is my mission. Pray for me that I will be refreshed in my spirit by my own worship times and by occasional fellowship in my local church.
Doyle C. Book Revised November 1998