The trend in recent years for Japanese couples to request church
weddings has developed into a phenomenon of surprising proportions. It is well
known that businesses providing services related to weddings have been erecting
church buildings and turning hotel rooms into chapels. Ministers, both Japanese and foreign, are
being actively recruited to supply the demand for these Christian
ceremonies. Participation in these
ceremonies is often called “chapel wedding ministry” or “wedding
evangelism.” Many missionaries who are
involved in this ministry feel that God has opened a door of unprecedented
opportunity for sowing the seeds of the Gospel. Others, however, are raising
objections to this kind of involvement. They argue that it is beyond the scope
of a missionary’s calling or a diversion of one’s evangelistic energies. Those who raise these objections are as
sincere in their desire to serve the Lord as those who do weddings. However, we
need to look carefully at these objections in order to see which might be valid
and which might not be, which might express legitimate concerns and which might
be largely of an emotional nature and lacking a well reasoned foundation. I would like to approach the issues from a
background of extensive study in the field of missiology and experience in
teaching principles of communicating the Gospel across cultures. I come to this discussion with this question
in mind: Does God insist on using only traditional approaches to evangelism, or
does He desire to show us new and innovative methods to touch people not
reached as yet by previous modes of witness?
We will look at eight of the objections that seem to be most
common. To these I add two other
categories, as follows:
1. Christian ministers are not
to join unbelievers in marriage.
2. A steward of salvation cannot bless the unsaved.
3. Witness, perhaps, but are
souls being saved?
4. Missionaries ought to be
planting churches instead.
5. A Christian should be in
church on Sunday mornings, not doing weddings.
6. Bogus ministers are
profaning the bond of marriage.
7. Missionaries are profiting
financially from chapel weddings.
8. The contact is too brief
for meaningful involvement.
9. Some extremely unfortunate
statements
10. My own misgivings
1. Christian ministers are not to join unbelievers in
marriage.
God designed marriage for non-Christians as well as for
Christians. Are we saying that God does
not want non-Christians to be married?
If we refuse to conduct their ceremony, consider the alternatives:
(1) Living together without being married.
(2) Going to a Shinto priest for their wedding. Perhaps those who raise the above
objection are not aware that Shinto ceremonies are actually the
inviting of false spirits (demons) into a situation. Do we want couples to seek this
kind of “blessing?”
(3) Holding a jinzen
ceremony, usually before guests at a banquet, where a person with no particular
qualifications declares that the couple is now married.
(4) Merely registering at the city hall. This is acceptable legally to Christians also, but how sad that
the couple begin their married life without a time of celebration with
their families and friends. Sharing the joy of this momentous event is
surely one
reason for holding a public ceremony.
If we are not saying that God doesn’t want non-Christians to be
married, why, then, shouldn’t a missionary perform those marriages and, in
doing so, call the attention of the unbelievers to the God who ordained
marriage and wants to have relationship with them?
(Please note that the warning in 2 Corinthians 6:14 against a Christian
forming a binding relationship with an unbeliever is not the issue for this
paper.)
2. A steward of salvation cannot bless the unsaved.
But Jesus did. Much of His
ministry was blessing those who did
not yet believe ? the little children with touches and words of love, the
crippled and blind with healing, the degraded with forgiveness. Furthermore, 1 Corinthians 7:14 tells us
that the unbelieving husband is blessed by
the believing wife, and vice versa.
One of the most moving stories I ever heard relates an incident involving a young missionary who had been applying to his ministry everything he had learned in Christian college and seminary, but with little effect. In desperation he prayed, “Lord, I’m going to do only what you tell me.” And the Lord said, “Just bless the people.” There were Muslims also living in that country, and one day the missionary visited a mosque. An imam came to the mosque bringing his young daughter who was crippled. The missionary asked if he might to pray for her in Jesus name, and the imam gave him permission. The Christian said simply, “I bless you in Jesus’ name,” and the girl was healed and began to walk.
I cannot recall other details of the story. But it reflects so beautifully the ministry of Jesus. As He blessed people ? unbelievers ? with His healing words or touch, they believed and
accepted Him as Lord.
Do we think that God does not want to bless the Japanese ? that is, bestow His touch upon people so that
they will want to turn to Him? Would we
deprive Japan of this blessing when an opportunity is presented us to give it?
Philip Visser points out that, whenever we pronounce the benediction in our church services, it is possible that unbelievers also are present. The logical question then confronts us, do we separate out these people so that we are not “guilty” of blessing them? Or does God want to use that blessing also to draw them to Himself? If He does want this, can He not also use the blessing given in a wedding chapel where, Visser suggests, perhaps 99% of the people are in church for the first time in their lives?
3. Witness, perhaps, but are souls are being saved?
Let us ask also, then, are souls being saved by missionaries sitting in
mission offices? Are souls being saved
by spending days in field council meetings?
Are souls being saved by publishing English literature in a non-English
speaking country? “But those things are
preparation for making it possible to
save souls,” we might say. That is
exactly what participating in chapel weddings is! Evangelism begins with an initial declaration
of the Gospel into the consciousness of the unbeliever. Without this first witness, evangelism does
not take place. The wedding minister typically leads 50 unbelievers at one time
into this first encounter with the Gospel.
In speaking the Word of God in the ceremony, he is preparing souls for being saved. “How shall they believe unless
they hear, and how shall they hear without a preacher (Romans 10:14)?” Conducting a wedding that lifts up Jesus
Christ to unbelievers is surely just as much a witness as preaching a lengthy
message in an “evangelistic service.”
Furthermore, how many unbelievers are usually present at the typical
evangelistic services that we conduct?
In many wedding chapels, four or five ceremonies are held in one
day. Thus, in one day, the Christian
minister might reach 300 or more unsaved people with that first witness.
Kenny Joseph speaks of a unified, cross-denominational crusade in Tokyo some years ago. The effort had 20 committees involving 100 pastors. It was three years in the planning, spent 3 million yen, and invited people with perhaps 50,000 flyers and 1000 posters. A total of 600 people attended, but 500 were already Christians. We recognize the benefit for the Body of Christ that was accomplished by Christians working together. And we are thankful that 100 unbelievers were exposed to the Gospel and that, perhaps, some of them made genuine decisions. But the wedding minister often speaks to 100 people in one wedding! And there is no expenditure of money whatsoever!
John Graybill declares, “Wedding evangelism is a natural opportunity for sharing the Gospel, for people come to us for thirty minutes, and we don’t have to expend vast amounts of energy and time to knock on their doors with literature or invitations to meetings.” Jack McIntosh adds, “The energies of ministry can be totally concentrated on this moment of opportunity.”
4. Missionaries ought to be
planting churches instead.
Again, are the “missionaries” running an office planting churches? Those teaching in schools? Those publishing English books? Those teaching English classes? We must remember, if seeds are not first planted, there will be no crop. The Church in Japan has lost its attractiveness to its society. Japanese people see no reason to go to church. Before they are willing to go, the church must again become attractive to them. By providing a lovely Christian ceremony, the wedding minister is helping to make the Church attractive again. He is preparing people to become fruit in someone’s church planting -- perhaps yours. If people feel delight in church because of the loveliness of their first experience there, they will be more open to going to your church at another time. Then when they hear your message, they will be more likely to accept it because they were first prepared by the message in the wedding that they attended.
Nehemiah recruited workers to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem (Nehemiah
2:17). Some workers gathered straw, some mixed mud (if, indeed, mortar was
used), and others placed the stones.
But all worked toward the same goal. We recognize that mission offices
help coordinate missionary activities, publishers support the Christian effort
by providing materials, and teachers of English create contacts. However, there are untold thousands of
people who have not been touched previously by traditional church planting
methods, and, most likely, never will be
touched by them. Should we not
rejoice in the appearance of hands with other skills that work with us toward
the same goal? Can we not be glad in
the placing of even one living stone in the building of the Kingdom of God
within the hearts of people previously untouched? If we say that publishing, maintaining mission offices and, yes,
teaching English are God’s gifts within the mission enterprise, should we not
rejoice also in the other callings that God gives to His servants? Should we not affirm colleagues who step
into an open door where that first
witness can be inserted into the hearts of vast numbers of people whom our
other methods have not reached?
5. A Christian should be in church on Sunday mornings, not doing
weddings.
But what do we do then about all those people who will never go to church until it becomes attractive to them? If the people will not come to the Church, the Church must go where the people are. We have made sacred a symbol that is not sacred in God’s eyes ? 10:30 AM on Sunday. Does the Church not exist to reach the unsaved ? even on Sunday morning? I strongly affirm the importance of believers assembling together. But the fellowship of believers should result in its members going out to do battle with Satan. And wise strategy indicates that we engage Satan at those times when we can take as much of his territory as possible. Thousands of non-Christians are present in wedding chapels on Sunday mornings. And, there, they are receptive to the message the Church has to share ? on Sunday mornings!
Since unbelievers will not come to church on Sunday morning, we must
take the church to them! We must go to
the place of their special interests and activities ? the wedding ceremonies of
their sons and daughters on Sunday mornings!
Here we get their attention,
for they want a beautiful wedding,
and they are aware they can find that at church!
The purpose of the Church is not to preserve its cozy nest at a certain “sacred” hour ? not while souls are still perishing! Its purpose is to do battle with Satan, at any time when people in Satan’s clutches are available to hear the Good News, and in the place where they are available! This is missiological thinking! This is integral to true church planting!
Instead of opposing wedding evangelism, mission groups and churches would do well to recognize persons gifted for this kind of ministry and commission them for it as a part the church’s outreach. We would do well to work with the wedding minister to devise a plan to follow up with the couples he has touched in the chapel ceremony and try to enfold them into the church fellowship.
It has been stated that, if Japanese see a missionary at a chapel wedding on Sunday
morning, they will think he is not a true missionary because a true missionary would surely be in church at that time. I strongly disagree! As a matter of fact, when Japanese people attend a chapel wedding, they feel they are in church. Therefore it makes sense to them to see the missionary there. This objection actually supports the involvement of the missionary in wedding evangelism! Unbelievers are present in church! This is our opportunity to show them what church is really like! It is our chance to give them a truly enjoyable experience in a genuine Christian service so they will feel attracted to the Church and be open to attending again sometime.
6. Bogus ministers are profaning the bond of marriage.
Is this not all the more reason for us to send out real ministers? If we saw wedding evangelism as God’s open door for a genuine witness and sent out true ministers of the Gospel, there would be no room for bogus ministers. Satan produces counterfeits when his kingdom is threatened. The presence of the counterfeit is evidence that God wants to do a special work.
Just because there are quack doctors, do real doctors stop practicing medicine? Just because there are tares in the wheat field, does the farmer not try to harvest the wheat, and does he refuse to sow new seeds?
The Holy Spirit is innovative. He wants to show us new, innovative approaches to mission. God is building churches in Japan with the world’s money! Some missionaries are holding Christian services in these chapels in addition to the weddings they perform and are attempting to channel the couples into local churches. God’s approach to souls is not static. He wants us to see methods beyond our previous experience or understanding. If we would be quick to step into this unique ministry opportunity with many genuine Christian ministers, there would be less room for counterfeits.
7.
Missionaries are profiting financially from chapel weddings.
Are not many missionaries profiting from teaching English? Do not many missions recruit teachers of English to help supply mission income? There are “tent-making” missionaries who can be involved in mission only by supporting themselves. Other missionaries do not have adequate support from their home churches and must supplement their income. Are not even missionaries who already have adequate support glad to receive an honorarium for various services rendered? If this is not wrong, why is it wrong for a person engaged in chapel wedding evangelism to receive a reward for his services? Is teaching English for money somehow all right while conducting a wedding for remuneration bad?
Do not missionaries also raise as much support as possible in order to buy clothes, educate their children properly, and even pay into their retirement funds? If we did not do this, we could not stay on the field. Motives are at the heart of everything to do with money, and we will be judged for wrong motives. But both Jesus and the Apostle Paul affirmed that the laborer is worthy of his wages (Luke 10:7, 1 Timothy 5:18).
8.
The contact is too brief for meaningful involvement.
In an article in the Fall 1999 issue of Japan Harvest, it was stated that, in
effect, because meaningful relationships cannot be established in one or two
passing contacts, and because several counseling sessions are required to
explain the marriage relationship, the missionary’s involvement in chapel
weddings is not justified. My response
in the form of a letter to the editor is as follows:
The author’s concern for the “in depth” kind
of approach that assures repeated contacts with a couple in counseling is by no
means misplaced. My concern, however, is for the tens of thousands of people
who flock to wedding chapels weekly and are not
yet within reach of the author’s
approach. These are people whom our
traditional methods in evangelism have not yet touched and, very possibly, will
never touch. Evangelism begins with an
initial declaration of the Gospel
into the consciousness of the unbeliever. Without that first witness, the ongoing kind
of contact cannot take place. Throngs
of people are coming to chapels for a church
wedding where they are open to hear a Christian
message. This is an astounding opportunity for effecting that crucial,
initial witness to the Gospel! In the
chapel I serve, this year alone, at least 15,000 people experienced a genuine
Christian service, most of them for the first time! These people heard a simple, clear message about the one, true,
Living God. I maintain that the chapel
wedding, in providing a lovely, meaningful, first-ever contact with the Church,
helps prepare these people to
be open to the next Christian witness, perhaps through your church, or the author’s, or the one I attend.
The problem of the misguided minister of a
church marrying a believer with a non-Christian, though admittedly regrettable,
is extremely unlikely to appear in chapel wedding ministry and should not be
seen as a central issue in this discussion. The key issue is, should we not
respond to a phenomenon that brings to us
vast numbers of people who have been totally missed by our normal methods of
evangelism? Although our counseling
might not be deemed adequate or our follow up sufficient, should we not seize
the opportunity to move these people even
one small step toward the Kingdom of
God?
I am not suggesting that of all of us must be
involved in chapel weddings. We rejoice
in those called to proclaim the Kingdom through more traditional approaches in
evangelism. But should we not rejoice
also in other methods, indeed any method, that makes the church more
attractive to non-believers and thus draws
them toward the kind of in depth
relationship the author advocates? It
is not an “either-or” situation ? indeed, many new, innovative approaches to
evangelism are urgently needed in present day Japan.
9.
Some extremely unfortunate statements
It is sad when missionaries who should be directing their energies to engaging Satan in battle use those energies to speak harshly of fellow Christians. It seems that when a missionary’s ideas about or methods in evangelism deviate from our pre-set notions of mission work, we succumb to criticism of those brethren. Participation in chapel weddings also has become the object of harsh words and even of denouncing fellow servants of the Lord. The statements below reveal the harsh spirit that is sometimes expressed toward fellow laborers.
(1) True missionaries would not be involved in doing these weddings.
(2) My stomach turns when I see that phony cross on that phony church. I would never let my husband be involved in that kind of thing.
(3) Doing chapel weddings is cultural prostitution!
(4) A good
missionary would be in church on Sunday morning.
Concerning (1), several large mission bodies in Japan and many veteran missionaries have declared that chapel weddings are a God-given, open door with great potential for evangelism. Are these fellow servants of the Lord then to be deemed illegitimate (untrue) missionaries?
On (2), Jesus said, “If I be lifted up (the cross) I will draw all men unto me” (John 12:32). Thus I rejoice any time I see the symbol of Christ’s death raised, even by those who do not know its full meaning or are using it for less than spiritual purposes.
In relation to (3), the term “cultural prostitution” was not explained by the speaker, but it does have a repulsive ring, doesn’t it! Perhaps it was felt that such an emotionally charged expression is legitimate in itself and no rational explanation is needed. I wonder if the speaker would judge as cultural prostitution also Paul’s desire to be “all things to all men.”
Concerning (4), I think, rather, that Jesus is greatly pleased when a missionary goes to where people are at the time they are prepared to listen, even though that might be during the church’s “sacred hour,” for, if he doesn’t go at that very time, the contact with those people is lost. I suggest that Jesus would most likely ask the believers who remain in the church service to bless as their representative the brother going out, and pray for him as he leaves the “cozy nest” of fellowship to touch people that can be reached only at that time, and pray for Japan and the thousands of people who are at that moment assembling in wedding chapels all over the land. In tune with the Master’s heart, shouldn’t we, then, consider providing an alternate worship time for the ministering member so he can be refreshed in his spirit, and so he can bring reports and share prayer requests from his contacts with the couples and their families? Is not this the way “church” ought to be understood?
Can we not rejoice that there is a worker called out to lay a stone in the wall ? that is, to help establish the Kingdom of God in a place where it did not exist before?
The Holy Spirit is an innovative Spirit. Surely He has many new insights about evangelism that might not fit into our previous denominational or theological molds. He also allows differences of opinion where love is present. If we do not feel that certain ministries are for us, that is all right. But can we not grant others room to follow the way they feel God has led them without denouncing them?
10. My own misgivings
might help to perpetuate the notion that, after all, Christianity is a foreign religion and thus it does not apply to “our people.” Second, I object to the impression that might be conveyed by the costly, fancy wedding dress and other trappings. There is the danger that the church will be seen as gaudy or ostentatious, or that people will feel that, in order to be a part of the Church, one has to spend vast amounts of money and wear the finest clothes.
But I am willing to run the risk of these
misunderstandings in order to have the opportunity to declare the Living God
into the hearts of people who have no awareness of Him and who have never
before considered going to church. I
make this declaration in four ways:
I, too, have concerns about certain aspects of
wedding ministry. I mention two. First,
I object to the impression that might be conveyed to non-Christians by a
foreigner becoming the image of the Church in the Christian wedding
ceremony. It is true that foreigners
are being actively recruited largely because it is “in vogue” or “cute” to have
a foreign “priest.” There is the danger
that our acquiescing to this demand
might help to perpetuate the notion that, after all, Christianity is a foreign religion and thus it does not apply to “our people.” Second, I object to the impression that might be conveyed by the costly, fancy wedding dress and other trappings. There is the danger that the church will be seen as gaudy or ostentatious, or that people will feel that, in order to be a part of the Church, one has to spend vast amounts of money and wear the finest clothes.
But I am willing to run the risk of these
misunderstandings in order to have the opportunity to declare the Living God
into the hearts of people who have no awareness of Him and who have never
before considered going to church. I
make this declaration in four ways:
(1) In the pre-ceremony orientation time that I have with the couple where I am able to talk about the God who is alive, who is Creator, who is not one among many but the Only One, and who loves us and has a wonderful plan for our lives; and this God showed us the way to know Him ? through Jesus Christ.
(2) In the wedding ceremony itself where I lift up this Living God in a brief and simple message.
(3) In the atmosphere of the ceremony which I try to make as lovely as possible by constantly keeping in mind that the couple before me are just as precious in God’s sight as my own daughters, by speaking thoughtfully, personally, and with deep feeling, and by praying in such a way that the people see that prayer is truly talking with this Eternal God.
(4) By raising both hands for the benediction and blessing the people with my whole heart.
I echo the words of Dr. Akira Kurakata, “When I bless the couple, through them I am blessing their families, and through their families I am blessing the nation of Japan.”
I echo the words of Dr. Akira Kurakata, “When I bless the couple, through them I am blessing their families, and through their families I am blessing the nation of Japan.”
Oh, God, do bless Japan! Bless her with your divine touch, that her people might see you as their Lord and be enfolded into your Kingdom!
Doyle C. Book, D.Miss.
Kitakyushu, January 2000