Living on the Edge No. 39 - Diary of Mr. Yamano

July 13, 2002 (Saturday)
I received a letter from my daughter as well as a birthday present - a towel kit. I was very happy, as I've been using my current towel for 25 years, and it's in tatters. My daughter was only 14 when I was sent to Osaka Detention Center, and since that time I haven't been able to carry out my responsibilities as a father. Despite of that, she still treats me kindly. I am grateful to her. Yesterday, they changed the tatami mat flooring, and I feel good.

July 15, 2002 (Monday)
It's been hot and humid because of a typhoon, but Maria and my younger brother came to visit. After the visit, they were going to a certain organization, to ask for an introduction to a lawyer who might support my case. We spent a lot of time discussing the problem of lawyers, and I wasn't able to ask them much at all about what happened at the meeting on July 9 with Mrs. Shuyo and Lower House Member Mr. Hosaka, or about the steering committee meeting on the 10th. There is a lawyer who comes to mind in Tokyo, so I asked the Kanto group to approach him. A big donation and a lot of stamps came into the account of the secretariat and the steering committee, and I am very thankful; we will use them for our activities.

July 17, 2002 (Wednesday)
Today was bath day. I went in first, without putting the heater on, in the cold water. I often do this in the summertime. It feels good, because I don't sweat and come out feeling clean. The days have been very muggy, so it felt really refreshing to immerse my body in water.

In the evening, for the first time in a long time, I got a long letter and a thick photo album from the wife of my second son, who lives in Yokohama. My two granddaughters, aged two years, nine months, and five months, seem full of energy.

July 20, 2002 (Saturday)
The prison is smack in the middle of Osaka, and it is incredibly hot, like a boiler room. The nights are hot as well, so I have no energy at all. This morning, for the first time this summer we were served a favorite of mine: miso soup with eggplants. I'd also like to eat some lightly pickled eggplants. Today is the Day of the Ox, and we got retort-packed grilled eel for dinner. Up until now, we've only had eel on one day of the year, in August. But starting last year, we started getting it from time to time, as it is precooked. What a delightful taste it has. Since it was Marine Day, we also got rice cakes with soybean powder. It was cool and delicious.

Being treated kindly, being loved, and being forgiven has the power to change people's hearts for the better. The opposite desolates the spirit. I myself have to repent. I am full of shameful thoughts.

July 23, 2002 (Tuesday)
In accordance with the prison laws, an official from the Ministry of Justice will visit today and tomorrow. Inmates are allowed to make requests to the official if, for example, they wish to overturn a request that was turned down by the prison chief. In Osaka, for some reason, the official comes in the peak of the summer heat, around the 25th of July. I used to meet the official each time, and called for improvements in treatment both orally and in writing, but last time I gave up. The response is not prompt at all, and seems to be merely formal. The official doesn't listen sincerely, but just watches the clock, and in any case the security is so tight that it makes me uncomfortable. When the answers come, I get angry at the arrogant attitude of the officials, and anyway I know that they will almost inevitably reject our requests.

July 26, 2002 (Friday)
At about 2 p.m., in the searing heat, Father M came to visit me. We talked for about an hour. A fan had been installed in the little room in the corner of the prison, and it was a little bit cooler.

The number of people committing suicide in Japan has been over 30,000 for four consecutive years. The majority are at the peak of their working years, in their forties and fifties. This seems to be a unique situation to Japan.

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